i accept!

uncommon
nothing common
never known
i didn't start
you gave hints
don't you?
and one can say
he didn't
a puzzle
no girl has time
to be trapped
i did
wasted?
wise say, yes
and so do i
i agree with them
and wonder
how could i?
not to worry
i didn't move
to say something
never could have
even if
not in senses
how can it be a loss
when i didn't move a bit
nor did other..
why all this?
what this?
nothing
no one to move
just..
what..?
don't know
cannot tell
what's going on
i write sometimes here
he writes all time there
then how come..?
i don' t know
cannot tell
hears or what?
may be
no, sure..he does
otherwise how could..?
no, nothing
nothing
there's nothing exactly
going on
it's in my mind
no one can believe
no one does
then, how..?
i don't know
never will i know
no, not mystery
may be he doesn't want to..
then why does he..?
i'm confused
will not believe
what's written there
but then why do i go and read
should not
must not
no, must not
never will
but then sometimes
i do feel happy
sometimes
when some spiritual thought..
well then sometimes derogatory note..uh
it's disgusting then
intolerable
bu then
i'm in another world
only imagined long back
seems coming true
oh! he knew
these are my thoughts
who has written these
did he?
how come he know me so well?
is he the one doing all this
no, no one will ever believe
is he human
super natural or what?
cannot tell
but then why is it happening with me
or its just in my mind?
where i'm being led
not in this world
fairy tale? sometimes..
writing skill may be
oh, yes
is it harmless?
no, not always
certain thoughts should not be evoked
no need to
because life demands not
a plain road has to be walked
but then when was this road plain
never
then?
at least words accompany
wherever i go
no one's so near than these words
even if false
i live in another world
am afraid will fall from heights
heights which don't exist
no hopes
definitely i will fail
failed i have always
i'm ready this time
to fail
once more
cry once more
disgraced once more
just to feel
what love feels like
even if it is false
without hopes or promises
don't know writing
just read, read and read
all the way knowing
it carries no meaning
am afraid
somewhere my psyche believes
a truth exists
afraid to accept
it's for me
for if i ask
it will be denied
always
so not good
still
i fail
failed i always have
so not afraid of drowning
for death is my last wish
am happy
will be easily fulfilled
i love death more than this life
each day i pray
lead me to death
lead me to darkness
these lights
this life
not meant for me
i don't fit here
i'm not for this place
hell i accept
no hopes for heaven
hell shall be for me
i accept!