Am I? Am not..

Lately, I have been wondering,
Am I a psychotic?
This led me to read some about it..
Broadly peaking,
Psychosis is a loss of contact with
reality;
Delusions, having false beliefs about what
happening, and
Hallucinations, seeing or hearing that is
not there..
I fear I don't have any of these..
In the mean time, I keep confirming
myself and those my own..
My beliefs are due to certain happenings
that took place in reality..
Reality wrapped in deceit..
What I heard or read definitely took
place..
I had the proof..
Proof of certain things which I had
to correlate..
Correlate and think..
Think and think, beyond my scope..
In due time, all was gone..
It could have continued, had I more
prolonged..
Now when I reflect, I'm left dazed..
Nothing correlates much..
People laugh with ridiculous gaze..
I don't know how or what happened..
Was it a mischief or a planning?
Whatever maybe the reason,
I'm not the same..
When alone, I keep thinking..
Am I a psychotic or something
happened for a reason?
Temptation to go back and dig
happens sometimes..
It leaves me exhausted as no
reason I find..
I don't know what to do,
To feel sorry or to thank God,
I wonder,
Is He really kind?
Why can't He answer me,
when I keep asking?
There lies the answer,
I'm not a psychotic..

"If you talk to God, it's prayer;
If God starts talking to you, it's schizophrenia.."