I'm no more the one whom now I sourly hate

He just takes takes and takes
And when he feels like again taking
He gives his giving he fakes
I simply hate his ways
Arrogance is his make
He's free so let him be
A wanderer not to my taste 
Nothing for me to please
I don't want to be a fool
I've shed tears for him making pool
What's fun in that?
I repent my ways thrown away such tools
I've gotta be a li'l bit selfish man
I've become a taker now
I pick the best and possess it, enjoy my victory
And give only when the other's genuine not fake
I don't risk and allow others to mock at my life
And if need be I dare to face the wrong n' slap
I'm no more the one whom now I sourly hate

thanking my fate..

For me Love is always with in reach 
Not to stray away whenever please
Possession is my way of love
He who accepts with joy
Doesn't call it a rope
My caring ways don't wait for his answered care
Free flow of love between two must share
A bit of spoiling here and there
No complaints no sorrows always laughter declare
Most important,
Never losing interest sharing the deepest of secrets
Without any shame or fear
After silly fights n' shouts sacrifices made to real care
A secure feeling in my heart He's just mine
No matter where he tours in the whole world
Always eager to get back home on time
With his family to love n' share care
I think I've already such person in my life (my hubby :))
just recapitulating in verses thanking my fate

Perfect

Where are you my perfect love
You came to me we made a lovely pair of dove
I waited for you so long and you proved me all wrong
Now better don't put me on trials hear my call
Don't you know I'm the one for whom you've come all along
Why you play with me such hide and seek
Always on a search I'm made so weak
Anyways, I'm tired now
You go away from my thoughts
I'll do something better 
Like paying a bow before what God brought
For reminding who I am, I'll reap what I sow
And futile love never gives any returns
It simply ruins you decays you takes you to unsafe insanity
There's no coming back then..
By the way who cares a painful bitter death?
I die alone




(Ha ha not used to writing such poems, 
just trying my bit of imagination!
As usual ends up in a mess..)

Repentance

Subtle entrances 
Certain disturbances
Unknown messages 
False missed calls
I knew who's doing all
I repent I responded


My heart uncontrolled
Allowed me to have a fall
There seemed none at all
I repent I went forward


I'm always proved wrong
Yes, now I know I was wrong
An illusion created
I didn't at all know
Who's who at all
I repent I shouldn't have tried at all


My self respect was torn into bits
Nothing of esteem remained all shit
Drowned in my own misery
My mind failed to stand tall
I repent I gave it name of love so called


No appearance no clear message
Yet my heart yearned an unknown pall
Hidden behind invisible curtains I imagined
He was calling me too tho' no voice heard at all
I died many a times a death not supposed at all
I repent I thought it was some spiritual call


I'll no more go on those tearful paths
He's someone else's property
He just comes and enjoys his pride ball
And watches eagerly and laughs at my each fall
I wonder bitterly why I named it love at all


I was in my youth when love was perfect to give n' choose
Mistakenly he was chosen without a glimpse
May be I heard what none could make out at all
The results are obvious I lost to gain nothing at all


Today someone again subtly calls 
Claims free love for me acts as a stalk
I know he's the same person who was long before
I curse him, Yes I curse him openly
For now I'm sure he's a villain in disguise
Who steals peace of mind assuring false love
I'll not end up in profanity at all
I'll better change my path firmly
I no more want to repent at all

Storm Aftermath

I think I should find a new place
A place for me to muse in pace
The bumpy road I tread each day
Makes worthy not misused, I pray
Air, water, fire n' earth together come
Guiding an untrodden path under the sun
Stormy weather passes bends sans fun
Uprooted trees make wood to please
Better unanswerable n' fail to cease
Mistakes happen in life repercussions
There's a waiting hope after concussions
Life's to be shared only with closed ones

The so called Past..

The past smeared in mind's entangled nerves
Fails to evaporate and be gone for all times
Meaningless futureless loveless friendless
Described in negativism senseless past
Smothered disgraced worthless called
Why I go and visit again n' again such past
'cause I think I love it beyond all my past
It reminds me every moment each breath
My whats wheres hows pillars of all sorts
One day will be burnt in the pyre with me 
My Meaningless futureless loveless friendless 
Smothered disgraced worthless, the so called Past...

Burn

Readings
Seldom soothing
Mostly burning
Deep inside
Like
Painful blisters
Almost burst
To read 
To see
Yes its free
Ears that hear
Flames tear
Feel the pyre 
Fails to tire 
Words on fire
Burning n' spreading
Warm winds helping
Pain rolled all over
Bleeds mower
Gazing world 
Witnesses
A mind inspired..

Imperfect World

God I seek justice from you
I know to you I've been true
Its not that I forget thank you
Its asking about the balance
The balance of perfect nature
Born into an imperfect world
Taught never to expect love
Give away if you can a bluff
Carried away n' caught hold
Again, Oh say many a times
Predominance all pain sorts
Blended pain birth till death
Who, why n' where's a sane
No one can remain the same
Ever changing, ever flowing
Life in time at last nothing
Only to push n' kick brisk
Says, Keep going, blowing
And still, plead peace n' love
Why we at all expect impossible
In this so imperfect world ?

You should not have spoken those words been kind

You should not have spoken those words been kind


I knew well you've only come to hurt
I tried my best to bring some comfort
Love is difficult I dislike this filthy flirt
But still,
You should not have spoken those words been kind


What happiness have you brought my life
Stability of days stands cornered in fright
I fight uselessly with all though no might
But still,
You should not have spoken those words been kind


Disgraced not me, I test-retest your soul
I discover in you there's no need of goal
You're a wanderer at a different far pole
But still,
You should not have spoken those words been kind


Why can't all see your dark thoughts n' mind
You enter my field only sick pleasure to find
To my virtues, morals, pious vows show blind
But still,
You should not have spoken those words been kind


I'm afraid,
Something dies inside as you come across each time


How many times will I be put to cross
To my world is there left no one be kind

Otherwise, No more..

Gone through All phases
Broken and mended
Again battered to pieces
Never to be mended
Each piece of mine
Cries
No, dies
No, says nothing
In God only,
Now soul resides
Somebody has killed me
I'm alive in Him
Otherwise,
No more..

Change it!

Keep writing....
Keep writing till death takes life from you apart.... 
You'll have me
You'll see me
I'll be with you
To kiss, hug n' love you
In eternity....someday and then..who knows?
But for this life,
You're all alone
No family to call your own
So,
Keep writing....
Keep writing till death takes life from you apart.... 
That is all you have 
In your birth chart....
Change it!

You don't see What I see

You don't see 
What I see
I know your mind
What it did find
My heart is not blind
All's not fine
By the time 
You'll have a way
You'll be only left to remind
The way was all the way
Written on my hands
Only you couldn't find
And
By that time,
I'll be no more
To be with you..

Defeated!

Daggers in my hand
I'm ready to slain
A perfect image
I'm ready to take the blame
Why should I only feel 
Every time all shame
And people brag their possessions, 
Flaunt in fame
Mirrors on the wall reflect and deflect
Ask multiple questions
Answer is one
Defeated!

So sad

So sad
You're not what I thought.


I thought 
You accepted me 


As a whole being
As what I am


Not knowing
You pay a damn thought


Why is it so
Nausea overpowers


Whenever you leave
I feel dizzy


Unable to cope
Not knowing my own emotions


What should be done?
I cannot take this thing anymore 


Worst phase of life
Repeats and reminds itself

A major factor

Those windows distracted 
Avoided 


Still caught attention
Changed the direction
Still in mind felt a friction


Covered them with nice colorful drapes
Within I knew well the reason


Vigor laughed
At last took me to carpenter


There was only a remedy
Mend those broken windows


Cause of bad memories
A major factor

Before you're dead..

Ask those who're dead,
For whom did they die?
Did they get the rewards,
for whom they so much cried?
Did the world recognize their efforts?
Did they go satisfied or were they shattered?
They are now dead,
So, cannot tell..
Their story of glory or the mirth they spelled,
They're dead so they are all so well!
You cannot make out where they led to,
Heaven or hell?
But one thing is certain,
Once you're dead you cannot do much:
Make best use of these very moments,
To create magic of life before you hear death knell!

A Pearl

All the way, you're very careful, doing your work cheerful
Treading on life paths, people ready to find faults mouthful
When they see the minutest one, are happy to see you badly fall
Oh dear, no matter what you do, you're bound to be criticized
If you show love n' care, they'll worry how's all so fair
If you look really sad, they'll be happy and pray you be mad
Never show your tears to this world, for none can help you be a pearl
They'll snatch your booties, try your character
Develop strongest will power from with in, have utmost faith in yourself
In no time, your deeds will disprove them like a cutter
One of the most bitter truths is,
World is nicest place only when we are best friends to ourselves
No one can love us better than our own selves
So take best care of yourself, 
You're the most precious to yourself! 

lost sunshine..

puffy eyes with
clear crow lines
tanned face and
busy boggled mind
dearth of quality time
countless dead lines
amidst needs comforts
race pace turned blind
when memories rewind
any worthwhile to find
regrets left to tell
life's lost sunshine

better alone..

Strength to tease
Nothing to please
Sick with disease
Defines so well, 
None seen at ease


Trust, faith, honesty
People talk of safety
Verdicts given hasty
Grab a chance,
Gossips really tasty


Uneasy crafty places
Lofty ideas sans basis
Sex n' glamour traces
Losers in love, 
Lost real faces


Save my soul Jesus
I'm better alone..

Listening at last?

If I would have left those floors
Opened for myself new doors
Traced your name 
And found you for sure


I know well
You would have 
Never accepted me


Always pretended
To be unknown
To me


That still hurts,
An accepted fact of life..


So,
I let you go
And asked God to show
To open new doors


Now,
The difference is..


At least,
Our spirits 
communicate n' soar


Shall I thank God for
Listening at last?

Eyes talk..

My eyes today talked to me
"You don't seem to take any care of me.."
I'm always there witnessing 
Your joys n' sorrows
To be with you
In your dreams of tomorrows
I'm tired sometimes but you ignore
I co-operate to my highest hits 
though am very sore
It's time now you must set the limits
I'm aging now as you too 
where our thinking splits
You make me work late at nights
I need enough rest, I don't like bright lights
To rejuvenate and work harder the next day, 
hour to hour
Please keep me healthy, I'll keep you wise..

His nod..

I've yet to learn 
how to respond 
to your certain 
gestures


They leave me
dumbstruck 


Only thing I do is, 
can laugh


I leave it on God
who's making 
you do with 
His nod


Who am I to 
scold n' stop?

beyond an understanding you've understood!

It's no surprise I'm where I am


Subconscious decisions guide you to face certain storms


Certain roads remind you of some deep connections though may never take an apparent real form


Unanswered questions seek answers their own way


They find directions somehow whom no one shows the way


Destinations meant are always there if feelings are profound to bore enough the soul


Then divinity comes forward to play its part, awarding the deserving, who has suffered with an honest mind and a pure heart


Never lose heart in doing something good who knows who comes as a blessing just beyond an understanding, that till now you've understood!

Thank Heavens..

Lately, 
I've been thinking
differently 
from what  I used to..
..that brings out 
a different belief.


It's a boon or a curse
to be so far apart?
For, God never plans 
wrong and knows our
hearts better from 
the start....


See,
Where He has kept you..


At the finest pedestal of life!


For me,
Given an affirmation to an 
admiration whom now the
world admires!


Placed me perfectly 
with a look to give 
you a bright smile :)


Thank heavens,

Miracles do happen!!!


It's for you and me  
to bow before Him,,,,


Let the world be too 
busy to know!

dreams left..

Escaped from reality
Ran after my dreams
No where to be found
Left me saying
We've changed 
No more for you
It seems..

I'm silly

He knows it's wrong
He knows I'm strong
He waits for me go weak
In a flash of light goes the wily
Playing hide n' seek 
Making me look really silly!

Sent your way..

As I gather 
your kisses 
sent 
my way,
I realize
the same 
been 
unknowingly
sent 
your way..
Have they 
reached you?
I ask 
to be sure
if they're 
safe 
with you n'
not 
gone astray..

After war..

Winds of time blew away all sour tears


As courage stood amidst storm of fears


Senses assembled took care of priorities


Emotions hid themselves to think steadily

Warrior's aim a single goal became prime


When wasting time was the worst worst crime


When all was over, something still left with him


Faint memories of laughter, a lost love sublime